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Friday, 24 March 2017

A Special Place - Explanation

A Special Place - Explanation
Before Editing -

Point England School, have you ever heard it ? If you didn’t it is located in
Glen Innes, Auckland NZ. Search it on Google Maps, I’m sure you’ll find it. Anyway, I’m here today to explain why this place is special to my community.

Why is this ordinary school so special ? Well let me tell you it isn’t like many other schools. Here at Point England, we learn on chromebooks, ipads and imacs as an everyday bases. In other words, we are a Cyber Smart school. You might have not known, but we are one of many schools in a programme called Manaiakalani.


What is Manaiakalani ? Manaiakalani is a group of schools, who have special people helping them get netbooks and chromebooks. Our school was one of the first schools to get chromebooks. Chromebooks have been around our school for a very long time now. It first began in 2010 in Room 20, just last year was our school’s chromebook anniversary. And the year thirteens who were in that class had an reunion at there old school.

There are also many other things that make our school special. One thing that makes our school special is that we get our own reserve. Our School has been built right next to Point England Reserve, and every year we have an whole school pinic. Next week on friday, we’re having our school pinic there.

Last but not least, here at Point England we’re grateful for many things, not just chromebooks, ipad, imacs but many advantages. We’re so grateful for having fruit in Schools, Milk in Schools and an amazing advantage of many amazing teachers who come everyday to teach amazing students.


Why I think Point England is Special, I think my school is special because we get the opportunity to learn on chromebooks instead of pencils and books.
And we’re so lucky to get seven working imacs in each classroom with 3 ipads in a classroom.  And with a intermediate school as well as an primary school combined.

Come along to our wonderful School, and I promise you, that you’ll love it here.

After Editing

A place that is special to our community is Point England School. It is located in Glen Innes, Auckland New Zealand. Point England School is special because of many reasons and will be explain throughout this explanation.

Point England School might seem like an ordinary school but it isn’t. At Point England School, the students learn on chromebooks, ipads and imacs on an everyday bases. In other words, they are are a Cyber Smart School. Point England is one of the many schools involved with Manaiakalani.

Manaiakalani is a group of schools, who have important people helping them get chromebooks. This school was one of the first schools to get chromebooks. Chromebooks have been are their school for a very long time, it first began in 2010 in Room 20.

At Point England, they are grateful for many things, not just chromebooks, ipads and imacs but for many other advantages. They are grateful for having fruit in Schools, Milk in Schools and an huge advantage of many amazing teachers, who come each and everyday to teach extraordinary students.

Point England is a special place in the Glen Innes community because many of the people there, are ex students. Point England is a well off school and they get the opportunity to learn on chromebooks instead of pencils and books. And we’re so lucky to get seven working imacs in each classrooms alongside three ipads.
This week for writing, we are editing our writing sample. Our Walt is Editing our writing, meaning changing our writing format or adding detailed words. The First explanation in red is the before editing. The Second explanation in black is the after editing. I think I did well in editing my writing, because before I edited it sounds like I was talking to myself. Which is a bad thing because I was writing an explanation. After I did edited it sounds much better and it doesn't sound like I'm talking to myself. ENJOY !

2 comments:

  1. Hi Alisha,
    I really like how you have showed us your edited and non-edited writing to see how you have made your type of writing better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Alisha
    Your story was very long + your edited one and describing your school was a very good idea. I think it was clever of you to do your original one then your editing one. Maybe next time I could try it.

    ReplyDelete